So much has been happeneing lately, and I'm excited to share with you some of the joys that have been coming my way, along with some of the pain that has been hindering my heart. In early November I made the decision to attend Toccoa Falls College in Toccoa, Georgia! I will be starting this August and I look forward to it every single day. I had the amazing opportunity to go to Future Scholars Weekend in November, and it was there that I made the decision to attend TFC. The students that went to FSW had the chance to attend chapel. The president of the college gave a talk about making decisions in life (pretty much talking about making a choice between colleges, while still making the talk relevant for everyone else), and gave advice and examples on how to hear from God/how to let the Holy Spirit guide your decision making. He shared an example of how scripture spoke to him, and that it's what led him to apply for the job at TFC, and it's what confirmed it for him. He wrapped up his talk with Proverbs 3:5-6, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." That hit me right away, because Proverbs 3:5 is my senior quote (it would have been 3:5-6, but that was too long). In that moment I had so much peace with the decision to make Toccoa Falls College my home for 4 years, and I can't wait to begin my journey there as a Cross-Cultural Studies major. In October I went to yet another Tenth Avenue North concert, and they had a drawing where you could win a guitar signed by the band. I didn't think it was worth it, because I don't really win things...but my mom encouraged me to sign up so I did. I should mention, Future Scholars Weekend was a chance to get familiar with the school but also it was a competition for a full-ride scholarship. I got a call the Tuesday after the event: I wasn't the winner. The next day I got another call, from Palm Beach Atlantic University (the school where the founding members of Tenth Avenue North met and began their journey, also the school associated with the drawing for the guitar), I was the winner. A few weeks later I received the guitar in the mail, signatures and all (along with some merchandise and all 6 of their releases including 5 albumbs and Islands EP). Besides the cool factor of having a guitar signed by all 5 memebers of my favorite band, it's also super helpful and practical for me to have another guitar. I've been playing for two years now, and this year I began playing the guitar weekly on worship team. Having two guitars allows me to keep one at home and one at the church to limit the amount of transporting I need to do between home and church in these cold Wisconsin winter months. Praise God. This whole thing showed me that when disappointments come my way, it doesn't mean that God has forgotten about me...in fact, it means He has even greater things in store (well, if you consider a guitar greater than a full-ride...)! My best friend, Sydney, came to visit me last week! As you might know already, I met Sydney through the Guatemala trip. It was strange to see her in Wisconsin, and to see her in clean and normal clothes. We had a blast doing all sorts of winter activities and exploring things that are unique to Wisconsin. It was so encouraging to spend yet another week with her, and I cant wait for many, many more visits to come. Sydney and I clicked right from the beginning, but neither of us knew how close we would get. One thing that we always say is that we're the "same person". Frequently we will say the exact same thing at the same time, or one of us will say something and the other will exclaim that they were thinking the same thing. We commonly agree that the only difference between us (besides th country we call home) is that I'm the introverted version of her, and she's the extroverted version of me. Sometimes that causes a disconnect, but usually it creates a perfect balance that makes our friendship so successful. Sometimes it's hard during the Christmas season to embrace being an introvert. It's hard to be alone, simply because it's so busy and crazy, and it's also hard to be alone because so much longing happens during the holiday season. Longing for warmth, compainionship, and belonging. One thing I've been learning is to simply fully embrace who God has made me to be. He has made me unique in the way that I need a little extra alone time to catch my breath sometimes...probably because that allows me to spend some more time with Him. He's taught me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made...that there is no flaw in me. I am exactly who He intended me to be. One of my favorite analogies is that we are a slab of stone and God is continually chipping away all of the bad parts - any part that doesn't look like Jesus. He has made and continues to make us into His masterpieces. The title of this blog may have caught your attention, considering that this blog stems directly from the call that I have recieved to be a missionary. But actually, it's a song lyric...and yes, it's Disney. I have quickly and wholeheartedly fallen in love with the newest Disney movie "Moana" (I love it so much that I've seen it in the theater four times since it's release). The song that really introduces the heart of Moana is called "How far I'll go", and from the first time I heard it I connected to it in a special way. The song has two reprises...meaning it has three parts. Each one builds new emotion as it tells the story of Moana's adventure seeking soul. The exact lyric that goes along with the title of this blog appears in the last reprise of the song. In it's entirety, it cries: "And the call isn't out there at all, it's inside me". As someone who has struggled with knowing what I'm called to, and really trying to listen to the voice and direction of God...as someone who has flip flopped between majors and futures simply because I just didn't know what God was really calling me to...this lyric brought me so much comfort. The call to be a missionary belongs to everyone, in Matthew 28:19-20, also known as The Great Commisssion. For me, that call is intimate. It's a deep part of who I am. And this movie has been a big part of helping me embrace who God has made me to be. From my quirks to my uncertainties, God has called me...and that call lies within my soul and it defines who I am. The call to be a missionary is part of my heart, and I've been learning that no matter where this life takes me, whether it be overseas or in the states...I will always be a missionary and a warrior of the Gospel of jesus Christ. Lord, help me live a life worthy of the calling that you've placed upon my heart. P.S. There's still time to see Moana in theaters. I HIGHLY reccomend it to any and everyone. I am not opposed to seeing it a 5th or 6th time. Let me know if you're interested... Below is the song that has the lyric in it, although I recommend listening to all three parts. And all of the songs on the soundtrack. And the whole movie.
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AuthorMy name is Alyssa Guzman, and I love to write. That being said, this blog isn't only to ease the curiosity of my supporters, I created it to benefit me...and to reflect on my experiences and build on the knowledge that I gained while serving in Guatemala...and to share the deep and meaningful stories with you, as well as the silly (and embarrassing) ones! |